Is the goal of personal change work to be nice or to be effective?

Some of the most effective NLP interventions haven’t been very nice?

When Tony Robbins asked a woman crying her eyes out, “Who peed on your face?” It wasn’t particularly nice.

But it was effective.

It interrupted the patten and enabled the woman to deal with her problem.

When Richard Bandler finds out a certain tonality disturbs a person and deliberately uses it again and again to move a client, he isn’t being particularly nice.

But he is being effective.

So how can you know when you’ve gone too far?

The key is rapport.

When you are working one on one, in person or on the phone, you can maintain your rapport.

But when you are working via copy, how can you check rapport?

For example, one fabulously successful site created negative rapport with the readers. It was called “RIch Jerk.”

People actually looked forward to his insults.

I wrote an email for him to mail and it was filled with insults. But his audience loved it.

What made people stay with that copy despite it’s insults?

Your thoughts below.