Death of An NLP Legend

A legend passed away yesterday. Frank Farrelly, the author of Provocative Therapy, passed away recently. Frank was the most obnoxious lovable guy you could ever meet. He stunned people in therapy by deliberately provoking people in therapy and getting them to open up. The first time I read his book, Provocative Therapy I couldn’t believe anyone would recommend the book. But soon I saw Frank’s effectiveness. I have some very old recordings of Bandler and Grinder modeling Frank at a live therapy session. Bandler’s voice was entirely different than it is today. If you listen carefully, you’ll hear that Bandler adopted Frank’s voice after an intensive modeling session. The best way to learn about Frank is to listen to a recent seminar he did in NYC with my friend Doug O’Brien. The man was brilliant. You can get the DVDs here from Doug. That’s NOT an affiliate link. Frank was one of the people NLP was based upon. Study his work. Rest in peace...

The New World of NLP Copy

Copywriting is changing. We are seeing more and more people moving away from long copy and finding more people moving to video. For the world of NLP, this is truly a blessing. Now, in addition to words on paper, we can actually use volume and tonality to mark off the message. But with the exception of Eben Pagan, we’re just not seeing it online today done with any artful planning. Plus, with the shorter copy in use today, it is incumbent upon the NLP Copywriter to use the language patterns to get the reader to take action much more rapidly. Think about the words that would FORCE a person to take action. What would you...

Manipulative NLP – Stop It With The Hands!

Many years ago, I took a training with John Childers who all the marketing gurus swore by. He supposedly taught speaking skills that would show you how to sell from the platform. But what made me take this super expensive course was the idea that he combined NLP with selling. I was so bored. My dogs had more effective NLP skills. I took more bathroom breaks during that seminar than any other. I couldn’t believe I had gotten suckered in to this program. And at the end of the program, he sold another program. Yes, he had secretly planted the overwhelming desire for us to purchase his next expensive program. Yawn. I had no desire to continue my studies and I was amazed at the big name people who gave him credit for increasing their sales. What was it that PT Barnum said about suckers being born any minute? So now there’s another breakthrough NLP discovery used in video and selling. Ready? Stop yawning. I haven’t told you yet. Okay here it is. When you are talking, when you talk about your prospects shake your hands in the direction of your prospects. When you talk about you, point to you. Now don’t you feel an overwhelming desire to send me money? Didn’t think so. When you see someone using this technique, they are trying to manipulate you. And they are setting you up for the sale. A real sale is when you connect with the buyers wants and needs and your ability to fullfil them. No hand shaking needed. Harlan PS. I just saved you about $50,000 in advanced...

Trained Baboons And Hypnosis

When I learned hypnosis, I learned it in an NLP center in Ericksonian style. It wasn’t until much later that I was exposed to non-Ericksonian hypnosis. I can’t say that I liked it very much. Especially the rapid inductions. Grabbing someone’s head, shaking it, and yelling “Sleep!” would scare the bejeebers out of anyone. And then I heard the story of a hypnotist who tried this in his office with an elderly client and hurt her neck. Whoops. There’s a fabulous movie Marjoe about a young boy who is born as a preacher. From the ages of 4-14 he saves people all across the United States. As a teen, he gets disgusted and walks away from the business. In his twenties, he returns to the road with some video cameras to record his preaching and performance in church. The cameras are rolling as Marjoe gets people to faint – sometimes a whole line of people at one time – just be pointing at them. And that’s when you need to understand the concept of the trained baboon and hypnosis. The training baboon is conditioned how to behave by watching others. You know what they say, “Money See. Monkey Do.” So it doesn’t really matter if the goal of the money is to get people to faint at a religious revival meeting or go into a deep trance. I suggest to you that if you go up to a total stranger on the street, grab their head, shake it and yell “sleep!” you’re going to find yourself punched in the head. Get my point? PS. The movie Marjoe won an...

Obnoxious NLP

Is the goal of personal change work to be nice or to be effective? Some of the most effective NLP interventions haven’t been very nice? When Tony Robbins asked a woman crying her eyes out, “Who peed on your face?” It wasn’t particularly nice. But it was effective. It interrupted the patten and enabled the woman to deal with her problem. When Richard Bandler finds out a certain tonality disturbs a person and deliberately uses it again and again to move a client, he isn’t being particularly nice. But he is being effective. So how can you know when you’ve gone too far? The key is rapport. When you are working one on one, in person or on the phone, you can maintain your rapport. But when you are working via copy, how can you check rapport? For example, one fabulously successful site created negative rapport with the readers. It was called “RIch Jerk.” People actually looked forward to his insults. I wrote an email for him to mail and it was filled with insults. But his audience loved it. What made people stay with that copy despite it’s insults? Your thoughts...

The Deeper Deeper Game

If they turned out doctors the way they turned out hypnotists, people would die like flies. Most hypnotists don’t know that they don’t know. It goes back to a classic debate on the style of hypnosis. There is the direct authoritarian style hypnosis. “You will go deeply into a trance.” Or there is the Ericksonian permissive style, “I’m curious if you are comfortable enough to allow your eyes to close.” Well, which gets better results? At best, 20% of the population responds to direct suggestion. That means if you use direct hypnosis, 80% of the population is going to show no results – other than getting annoyed. The Ericksonian permissive style allows you – as Erickson said – to do something new with every patient you meet. My teacher Dave Dobson used to say when you are doing hypnosis, there is an amazing feedback device in front of you. It’s called a client. Yet most people who do direct hypnosis don’t pay any attention to the client. What do they pay attention to? Their script! When I opening my hypnosis office, I interviewed a lot of hypnotists. My interview was to put them in the room with a volunteer client and watch them on closed-circuit camera. One lady came into the room, found out the client wanted to lose weight, didn’t bother to ask any questions, went out of the room to her car to get her script, and read it to the patient. When I asked, why didn’t you look at the patient she answered, “I didn’t need to. I had the script in front of me.” Other...